Repeated yet unsuccessful attempts to stop or reduce consumption!
A need for increased amounts of alcohol when partaking!
Withdrawal sensations at the cessation of a drinking session!
Welcome to Cure Alcoholism Now
Alcoholism Help for You; a Family Member or Friend
What is Alcoholism
The term alcoholism refers to a disease known as alcohol dependence syndrome, the most severe stage of a number of drinking problems that start with binge drinking and alcohol abuse.
Diagnosing alcoholism can be tricky as the diagnosis depends on the drinker being prepared to acknowledge a problem exists and to answer honestly questions about his or her drinking patterns and attitudes. Alcoholism is insidious, it envelopes you silently, relentlessly progressing in stages until suddenly something inside snaps and you have become dependant, addicted, reliant. There will have been psychological changes too, mostly it will be shame and a need to hide and deny. Unfortunately this will often mean that desperately needed help will not be forthcoming either, cutting off a lifeline and impacting on the lives of loved ones, friends and all too often a career and work colleagues loss .
A Personal Tragedy
I was very happily married for 20 years to the most beautiful, full of life, kind, honest and loving woman. A wonderful wife and loving, caring mother to our daughter. On the surface all seemed well in her life and, although we had faced serious and damaging challenges, it appeared that emotionally we had both escaped with our health and our sanity intact albeit many hundreds of thousands of dollars poorer.
At first there were small changes in this woman I thought I knew so well; so small that they were easy to dismiss and excuse as “just part of life” and nothing to do with alcoholism. Suddenly having a drink during the day on occasions and then more regularly, staying until we were last to leave a function and having just one more drink. Wine glasses in the dish washer when we hadn’t shared a drink recently. Spirits that were otherwise rarely taken except with visitors or get togethers, seemingly being drunken and emptied faster. An increased use of breath freshener, a sometimes glazed look in her eyes that initially I put down to depression at the recent death of her mother. The pantry not as well stocked as in days gone by and smaller sized meals being served. More and more regularly occurrences of spoilt meals through overcooking and burning from a very good cook. Desserts as well were served less frequently.
Now we talked about these and as we were both putting on weight it was thought we were probably better off; and the recent loss of so much of our wealth meant we had to do with less. Oh what convenient excuses! But excuses nevertheless that were plausible and accepted as reason for the changed and very different characteristics and behaviour. Instead of being helpful I became judgemental not realising that this attitude was only making the situation worse. So there is the first lesson..Are you experiencing any of the above in your relationship or with a loved one and finding plausible reasons rather than facing the facts? If so take positive action NOW!..Seek help NOW!
Then early one summer’s evening I arrived home from work, our daughter at her part time, after college work, windows and doors open, car in the garage; everything normal. Upon entering I called out. No response. I checked the rooms and then passing the bathroom looked inside and there, lying in the bath a beautiful wife and mother……… Dead!!!. Not that I knew immediately of course as shock sets in quickly in these situations, but emergency treatment failed as did the St John’s assistance. I had lost a beautiful and loving wife of twenty years and our teenage daughter her dedicated, loving and caring mother.
Initially treated as a suspicious death, autopsy and oncology tests confirmed later on in the week that the cause of death had been alcoholic poisoning.
Now the sudden loss of a loved one and mother was bad enough but nothing can prepare one for the shock that was to unfold at the coroner’s inquest some four months later. A decade on and I still find the coroner’s findings haunting. I share them with you now in the solemn hope that if you are reading this because either you or a loved one is suffering from or concerned about the detrimental effects of alcohol use you will be motivated to action before it is too late and there will be nothing you can do.
The Coroner amongst others things mentioned: This very honest woman had been removing alcohol “in small amounts” and drinking on the job as a home hand to neighbours and friends, referred to in the report as “sly drinking”. An example of how even people and good friends that you think you know well are reluctant or embarrassed to confront and advise suspicions and /or fact when confronting and advising loved ones could well save a life.
Daily visits to the local off-licence (or liquor store) to purchase wine and spirits, over $200 per week sometimes. When confronted the proprietors were told that she “worked in an old peoples home and was buying supplies for the residents”.
Several bottles of wine and spirits were found hidden in various parts of the house to disguise the degree and regularity of consumption. Located by the Police as they conducted a thorough investigation into this “suspicious death”.
My plea to you today and to everyone who is reading this is to read the page again and, if you recognise ANY of the above behaviours in yourself or loved ones or friends, don’t listen to or make excuses and don’t be judgemental..Just help or seek help. Remember that the biggest initial challenge will be to overcome the denial process, and admit/get admission that a problem exists, and to assist your loved one who also may be “in denial.”
You must try to talk with and work a solution out together or you may need to seek professional assistance and this website lists many areas (medical, voluntary and self help) and other bodies that are ready and willing to help you.
If you are visiting this site because you are looking for advice or even help for yourself, there are many resources available to you, but I ask you to think. You are not alone! You have loved ones, friends and family? Just know that they will still love you when you tell them you have a problem and you need help. But realise this also. They won’t be able to either help you or love you if they don’t know or even worse if you die from alcoholic poisoning or sclerosis or other effects of your illness first…. and guess what? Yes, they will miss you dearly when you are gone.
If you are the loved one you may feel angry, let down and it will be very easy to be judgemental and unhelpful. Don’t fall into that trap of “it’s OK or it will get better”. If you criticise or judge you will only turn the victim further away from asking for help or addressing the issue. If you do nothing in the wrong belief that is something else or will repair itself. STOP. Reach out, be caring and offer to talk and to help. Remember though the barrier of denial will be the most difficult to surmount..Don’t give up whatever else you do, don’t ever give up, don’t stop caring and don’t be judgemental..IF not addressed believe me, alcoholism will beat even the strongest of minds and constitutions eventually…and believe me, you will miss your loved one dearly when they are gone.
Worst of all you will harbour a guilt that you could have done more; you could have understood better; you could have showed more compassion, been more observant and resilient, there will be many questions you will ask of yourself… but it will be too late.